I’m reading about mercenaries (I’m sorry – “Private military companies”) and something that keeps making me laugh is the horrible Corporatese these companies use to describe what they do. Here’s how Xe (then Blackwater) described itself a few years ago:
We are not simply a “private security company.” We are a turnkey solution provider for 4th generation warfare. We assist with the development of national and global security plans, train, equip and deploy public safety and military warriors, build combat live-fire indoor/outdoor ranges, MOUT facilities and shoot houses, create ground and aviation operations and logistics support packages, develop and execute canine solutions for patrol and explosive detection, and can design and build facilities both domestically and in austere environments abroad.
Develop and execute canine solutions.
DEVELOP AND EXECUTE CANINE SOLUTIONS.
Does anybody read this stuff before they publish it? Can you work for Xe if you have a sense of the ridiculous? Do they make you take some kind of test before they hire you?
THE MAN IN THIS PICTURE IS NOT WEARING PANTS, BUT YOUR BOSS JUST TOLD YOU THAT HE IS.
IS THE MAN IN THE PICTURE
a) WEARING PANTS
b) WEARING PANTS
c) WEARING PANTS
d) WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF COMMUNIST?