My Awkward Lifestyle

Just vote for Ron Paul already.

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Have you read this Rolling Stone article about how Bain Capital got bailed out by the (presumably evil, fascist) government?

Um, this makes me so mad. I’m not even sure I can work up anything funny to say about it. I can’t even pull a quote from the article, because they all make me want to… I don’t know. What would these people care about? NOTHING. They would just retreat onto their floating mansion islands and be like “LOL! Listen to this pleading letter from a grandmother of six who is eating cardboard to survive! Shoulda retrained in computers and had some PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY amirite guys? Hey, let’s go out and club some fuckin’ baby seals.”

What is wrong with the American voter? Why do we keep being like “Well, okay… these extremely rich people buffered their private losses with public money, but BUSINESS IS FREEDOM!!!!”?

I don’t understand. It makes me feel totally bummed out. I can understand someone holding conservative beliefs about social and economic policy. I can understand someone believing that the only good government is small government. I can (sort of) understand someone believing that a deregulated economy is a healthy economy.

But I can not understand someone believing in small government and capitalist freedom and personal responsibility, but also voting for the dude who took a taxpayer bailout when his dumb business decisions blew up in his face. Why should we subsidize his losses? To put it in Fox News language, WHY SHOULD THIS CLOWN GET A FREE RIDE ON MY MONEY?

If we’re all going to stand around clinging to our own boostraps and being self-made men camped out in Galt’s Gulch, FINE, that’s one thing. But this nonsense where Americans insist on being the lone industrialized nation that refuses to admit that we’re in it together, sink or swim, and yet simultaneously we all must throw all our money at Mitt Romney so he doesn’t feel bad about himself for making a bad investment, boo hoo, his feeeeeeeeelings are so huuuuuuuurt, it must be very emasculating to bomb like that, EVERYBODY SEND HIM LIKE TEN DOLLARS IN AN ENVELOPE, HE’S REALLY SAD YOU GUYS.

What is that? Why can’t you just vote for Ron Paul if you don’t like big government? I will say one thing for Ron Paul. He may have fathered a crazy person who believes that low-flow toilets are one step from jackbooted thuggery, but he also seems like a guy who would be like “Mitt? It’s Ron. I’m gonna have to let you go down in flames, buddy. BOOM. CAPITALISM. IN YOUR FACE.”

Come on conservative voters. THROW OFF YOUR GOP SHACKLES. Vote for the guy who isn’t totally full of shit. RON PAUL 2012.

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